Design | Easter Paradox

At 21 years old, this is the first Easter that I’ve truly understood all the hoopla, which could be really sad if you look at it from the vantage point of all the years I’ve missed out on. Or it could be insanely beautiful.

Jesus, in and of himself, is a wonderfully mysterious paradox: Man, yet God. Human, yet sinless. Born, yet not conceived. Through Him Mary was virgin, yet mother, and today reminds us that He was dead, now alive.

Easter | Paradox

On Friday, for the first time, I questioned the purpose behind “Good” Friday. How can something so gruesome, so excruciating, so unfair be so good? I wondered. Of all the words in the world, ‘good’ is what we chose? I knew that with His death came oceans full of good. But was His death, our murder of the Son of God, really a day to be deemed ‘good’ at all?

Easter | Paradox - It Is Finished

It made me slightly uneasy, even mildly worried. Had we been calling this day something inappropriate for the last 2,000 years? As if killing Him wasn’t enough, had we been disrespecting His sacrifice for centuries by pronouncing it ‘good’ to all of humanity?

As a plank wore our Savior and our Savior wore thorns, the very thorns that should have pierced my head for my own transgressions, none of it seemed good. As blood dripped from His wounds that I should have endured and nothing could quench His thirst, none of it seemed good. As Mary wept for her innocent son and John grieved for his perfect friend, all of it seemed bad.

But then Jesus uttered ‘It is finished,’ and it was.

This, too, may seem paradoxical since the story doesn’t actually end there.

Easter | Paradox - I Am With You Always

Jesus had finished many things in that moment. His final three words on the cross certainly weren’t a lie. Sin and its otherwise necessary sacrifices were finished. His sufferings had ceased. Our striving could end.

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins.” 1 John 4:10

It was on the third day that He triumphed death. A man who was dead came to life forevermore.

And I have never been more in love with, more satisfied by, more in awe of a mystery in all of my life.

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Moleskine Maiden

Tears would stream if I lost my journal. Well, any of them. I’m not exactly a one-journal kind of girl. I use some for thoughts, others for notes, still others for planning and dreaming and doodles.  Little bits and pieces of me and from me but apart, which is how I imagine it must feel to have children, photocopies of you wandering about.

Moleskine Maiden | EmilyAnnMoschner Design

And boy do my journals get around. Every day I lug at least two of them on my hip waiting for something noteworthy enough to jot down. There are days when they return just as empty or full as they were that morning. But most days I make an effort to fill a page usually in order to stay organized or jog some thoughts, spill creativity or slay me of writers’ block.

My go-to notebook is the cool kids team. It always fills up first.

So this summer, when I turned the final page of the green, embossed-pattern journal, I was back on the market looking for the one.

The one has smooth, well-weighted, unruled pages, and a decent amount of them at that. It is sans spiral because I am easily infuriated by pesky wires that twist out of place only to let pages spill onto the floor and because I like how bounded books look and feel, and smell. Is that weird?

Moleskine Maiden | EmilyAnnMoschner Design

The one has a sturdy, plain-ish cover. I’m all about patterns, polka dots, plaid, stripes, intricate damask. They would do it for me. But quotes and pictures of kittens are not quite as appealing nor inspiring, so the plainer the better.

I was on the prowl. Ask anyone who shopped with me during this dim moment of my life (mostly my boyfriend, Ben, and my brother). With every office supply aisle came another disappointment. The journals were either too frou-frou or too expensive or too spiraly.

I refuse to spend more than an hours’ worth of wages on a book of empty pages. Sorry, but that’s ridiculous. So, yes, I had a price in mind and I wouldn’t settle. I usually spot the best ones at TJ Maxx, but clearly they were having a barren summer, for there were none to be found.

Target is my next best drug, err, I mean, shop of choice.

But that aisle tormented me.

It’s the one with an entire display devoted to Moleskine. Perfectly bound journals just waiting to be set free from the plastic wrap, and I wanted to set them free. Except I’m a college student and any job I’ve had up until this point pays less than $20 an hour. As far as my wallet and I were concerned, they were out of the question, however beautiful and quality they were.

Naturally I revolted.

I left Target that fateful day with a $3 notebook from the clearance rack. It fit all of my qualifications, except that it was slightly more vibrant than I preferred, but it was cheap. Yeah, that’ll do it.

One week later, after we’d bonded and more than a couple of pages were occupied, the honeymoon stage came to a screeching halt. The pages weren’t bound after all. The slightest sudden movement yanked a page right out, and they were as thin and flimsy as tin foil so those movements likely ripped the pages as well.

Back on the hunt I went, settling once more for a cheapy notebook at Target. It’s cute with its gold polka dots and all (that’s how they get you), but it’s spiral-bound and boasts ruled pages.

Moleskine Maiden | EmilyAnnMoschner Design

Why is that so impressive?

I can’t tell you how many notebooks are practically screaming at you about how cool they are with their lined pages. Well, sorry buddy, you’re not nearly as cool as you think.

Ruled pages are limiting. If I want to sketch something I can, but there are going to be 52 stupid guidelines through it that I can’t remove.

I’m looking for creamy, blank pages. Not striped pages to help me write straight. Not pages with a flower motif in the corner and a vine traveling up the side. Just plain, welcoming pages hoping to be accessorized by an inky thought or a colorful illustration.

All this to say that last week I buckled under the pressure of a 50%-off-any-one-regular-priced-item coupon from Michaels, which has a Moleskine end-cap of mostly unruled journals.

Moleskine Maiden | EmilyAnnMoschner Design

Instead of $18.95, I got a full-sized, classic Moleskine for less than 10 bucks. Now I’m itching to finish the pages in my last spiral-bound fiasco to move on to my little black book.

Photos by EmilyAnnMoschner | Journals by Designers GuildTJ Maxx; Artist’s Loft – Michaels; GreenroomTarget; Moleskine – Michaels.

It’s a blog!

It's a blog | EmilyAnnMoschner Design
There’s lots of changing going on around here.

Part of which includes this squeaky, new blog in all of its WordPress splendor. This isn’t my first time the stork has stopped in with a delivery though. My other blogging experience just wasn’t nearly as cool, or cute. It also didn’t exactly give me the creative freedom I was looking for, and so what was once an entire blog for me in the past is going to be a weekly segment over here.

As a writer with a typography-infused obsession with graphic design, color, photography, interior styling, patterns, art, fashion and babies (I mean, who doesn’t just delight in a baby with good fashion sense and a knack for being adorable?), this etching of mine in cyberspace is bound to burst under the weight of hopeful creative undertakings and current written or visual endeavors.

So, welcome! I’m Emily Ann.

When I was child my hands were often hidden in journals, my nose was likely found in a book. Somewhere along the way, anything I could create or transform with my fingers became my newest beloved project. Now I’m a journalism student in Florida trying to weave all of my fascinations, many vibrant, loose-ended threads, into a beautifully cohesive tapestry.

This is my visual, virtual journal where I sort out countless frazzled thoughts, piece together heaps of tangled ventures and tasks, and gather bits of inspiration like a basket of berries. If it’s anything like the journals I schlep with me each day, the cover will bear signs of tearing and pages will spill onto the floor, but I’m ok with that.

Thanks for dropping by, just please pardon the mess.

P.S. If not otherwise noted, all graphic designs, illustrations, photographs, etc. on this blog are my own, including the visual in this post. Please be kind and give credit where it is due if you wish to share or pin (you’re welcome to check out my boards by the way) my art or anyone else’s. I’ll be sure to do the same. Thank you!